And Now There Are Seven. The Death of My Twin Sister

As many know I am one of ten children, born in Bristol U.K.  to Evelyn Maud Povey and Henry John (Jack) Povey.

My sister Sylvia (1942?) lived for but a short while. her wee body contorted with Spina Bifida.

Brother Steve died suddenly and unexpectedly in 2016 at aged 63. We think of him every day.

My twin sister Elizabeth  (Liz) died during the night of Jan 2nd/3rd 2023 after many years of declining health.

We were born in War Time (May 1944).  I came first, a fact that was useful in later days "Anyway, I'm older than you!"

I remember us sitting side by side in a barebones twin pushchair with a wooden seat and back. Young as I was, I got irked with the people who engaged Mum in conversation and admired our glorious red hair.

I remember too the Christmas when we each got a scooter (again barebones - nothing like today's supersonic ones). Maybe we were nine or ten.   One scooter was red, the other blue.

We got along pretty well as children and playmates. We went to the same Infants and Junior Schools, with Mum wisely insisting that we should never be in the same homeroom.

We shone at Christmas time when the two of us would go caroling at neighbouring houses.  We both had very sweet and tuneful voices and would be rewarded with a few pennies, or maybe a sixpence or shilling, and if our luck was in, even as  much as a half a crown.

We went to different High Schools and naturally drifted apart a bit.

When Liz was Seventeen years old she left home to undertake residential training as a Nurse.   She never again lived at home.

I visited her when  she worked on Jersey in the Channel Islands  (my very first flight, from Southampton to St. Helier and back in an ancient Dakota Prop plane).

We met up again when she moved to Wellington in Somerset; when she moved to Sale (Lancashire); and when she moved to Sutton Colefield, near Birmingham.

There she met and married Dr. John Spence, a brilliant scholar and poet.  Lord only knows if they had a good marriage but after his death Liz's grief was long lasting.

John Spence and Liz came to Bristol for our fortieth birthday (1984). 

Liz again in 2002 for Mum's funeral, (2002)  That was the last time that we nine siblings were together.

The truth is that Liz chose to keep her family at bay.  She did not take care of her health.  Those who knew her would describe her as eccentric, difficult, or odd.

As I have chatted with various siblings today we agreed that much of our grief is because Elizabeth never knew deep happiness.  She never made deep friendships.

She became fall prone and spent her final days in Shenstone Hall Rest Home. There she never read a book or the newspaper, and never listened to the radio or watched T.V.  

When I went to England in Oct/Nov 2021it was with the express intention of visiting my seven remaining siblings and their families. I didn't have premonitions.  I simply wanted to see them whilst I could; and before the long flights to and from England became burdensome.

I took two trains from Bristol to Wolverhampton.  My Seminary class mate Keith and his wife Liz live in a small town near Wolverhampton called Codsall. I thank God and them that they met me at the Train Station and drove me to Liz's Rest Home on the outskirts of Litchfield.

We had a good visit but I was shocked to see Liz - a little old lady in a wheel chair.

The other Liz and her husband Keith treated me to lunch before setting me on a train back to Bristol.  Without them my visiting logistics  would have been much more difficult.

Last week my sister in law Angela (Steve's wife), and my Niece Louise drove from Bristol to see Liz, by now in the Hospital and moving towards death. I spoke a bit with Liz (as did my sister Maureen) via Facebook video. Maureen and I each noticed how much she resembled our dear mother

When I hung up Liz said "that was the old Fart!".  I kind of cherish those words!

At Liz's request there will not be a funeral.  Her former neighbours Alan and Stephanie have been good to her beyond all words.  We think that Alan has been named as the Executor of her will, but we are not sure that is the case.

Today I called  Shenstone Hall (Litchfield) where Liz spent her last year.  The woman who answered the 'phone remembered me and my visit.  I said "I know that my sister could be difficult" (she laughed) " "but I am calling to thank you for taking care of her". My words were well received.

TRUTH!  I too can be prickly and difficult!  But unlike Liz I have dear  friends who hold my feet to the fire!

It's odder to lose a twin than any other sibling. Those nine shared months in the womb create their own implants.

But for now.   No deep grief for  me and for my living sibs. Sadness rules.  Condolences are not needed and will not be welcomed. 

Rather, please share in our hope that on the other side of the veil Liz has encountered the happiness which eluded her on earth.